Congratulations Raffa

Talk about emotional wash-out!
Today I feel like a sponge that's soaked up far more liquids than it can handle.
I didn't cry in the early hours of the morning as I watched Raffa's annihilation of Roger Federer, but it all came out today when I heard Jennifer Hudson's rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, for the Superbowl taking place today. It's always an emotional song, designed to get the people revved up with patriotic fervor in the face of battle, but Jennifer sang it really beautifully, with so much feeling. It made me think of all the sorrow she's suffered recently with the murders of her family members, including her mother. My tears began to flow! God-- I hate this emotional side of myself!

And it reminded me of how Roger cried last night, and how awful he must feel today to show this very vulnerable side of himself to the world.

This morning I just felt really sad that Roger didn't make it, that he allowed the importance of the occasion to get the best of him. At the end of the fourth set I still believed, but then came that moment of recognition in Roger's eyes, that moment when he knew, and when I knew that he would lose this match, and have Raffa's shadow hanging over him for good.

How ever as fate would have it I watched a biography of Chrissie Everett, (I think the All time champion in Women's tennis), while I got busy on my exercise bike, and couldn't believe the strange coincidence of the timing of this program. It showed her career being challenged by the young and brilliant Tracy Austin, who came along and defeated Chris five times in a row and totally demoralized Chris, who had been #1 for several years, but quickly dropped to #2 and then #3. For some time it remained that way, and Chris thought of retiring, but then something clicked and she was given some good advice, that changed everything. It seems that in order to beat your rival, you have to really hate them and forget about your respect and friendship off the court. Whether Chrissie took this advice or just changed something about the way she played,or both, she eventually beat Tracy and regained her #1 spot.

But it didn't end there, because as soon as that rivalry was sorted out, Martina Navratilova came along and a new rivalry developed for many years to come. So, to cut a long story short, Chrisse went up in down during her long career, but she never gave up until she retired. She beat and got beaten, started all over again and still won more slams than she could ever have had imagined.

I think I know that feeling of futility Roger experienced last night, (on quite a different level), but this epiphany I had during one of my matches against a close family member, was very deep and totally demoralizing, the moment when I realized that no matter how well I could play, it would never be good enough to beat a younger, stronger person. It made me furious, it made me so mad that I threw my beautiful new racket that had been a birthday gift, and destroyed it. Which then made me feel a million times worse about myself. As punishment I decide I didn't deserve a good racket and played with a really old crappy one, until my game and mindset improved.

So I do believe that Roger needs to re-examine himself. maybe take a small break, get a new coach to help him, concentrate on how to beat Raffa exclusively (he can beat almost everyone else) and see what happens. Perhaps he needs to learn to really, really hate Raffa in order to beat him, as these two obviously like and respect each other. Raffa seemed almost sad to have won, when it was over, but when you look at his face during play, he always looks a bit angry and he rarely smiles.

But Roger also has to forget the historical impact of every final match he plays; if that's at all possible, because it makes him so nervous. Of course it is understandable!

At least I am one person who still believes in him.