As you can see by my portrait, I have a lot to be cranky about! I mean just look at me…! Wouldn’t you feel angry every time you looked in the mirror? Can I really blame people for not wanting to give me a job, once they lay eyes on me? I wasn’t always this angry, something else that photo shows you, as that day was actually one of the better days in my life, the reasons better kept to myself, at least for the time being. After all, I’m trying to stay afloat in a sea of rough waves, crashing ashore on the black sands of my local beach.

At times like this I really miss the wonderful white sandy beaches of my former homeland. Australia. Incidentally, that’s where my two kids are right now, so it’s always on my mind.

You know it’s pretty sad really…I must be the only person ever to come to live in America and be so much worse off financially nineteen years later. And now that we’re about to celebrate a brand new president---I’m so fucking freaked out about my financial situation, I can hardly enjoy this momentous occasion.

However—I have to say also that whenever I look at this face---I can’t help but cheer up.



But getting back to my crankiness---This is kind of upsetting, because one of my favorite people in the alternate media, Thom Hartmann opened his program with a strange rant about suicide rates in Australia, admittedly over the last 100 years---but it wasn’t really comforting to hear first thing in the morning, when it’s hard enough to get out of bed, anyway. But his point was that many more people kill themselves during Conservative governments, (even here in the States) and therefore we’re now coming out of that cycle, but even here really rich people have been offing themselves at an alarming rate, I think he said 72 people just did in the last few months, most of them related to the Madoff scandal sweeping all across the world.

OMG…A plane just went down in New York city…..I have just come back online after being glued to the TV for the last two hours, but for once a plane crash seems to have a happy ending. The 320Airbus plane had just taken off from LaGuardia airport, with 155 people on board, including the crew,--- when it lost both engines and the pilot—a quick thinking hero in most people’s mind, landed the plane in the middle of the Hudson River and got all the people out. By the time I saw it…the plane was halfway submerged, drifting on the icy water, and surrounded by boats of all shapes and sizes.

Although the city is being pretty tight-lipped about the cause of the engine failures, the theory floating about is that birds flew into both of them.
Even now, the plane is still afloat and tied to a pier in mid-town Manhattan, after being towed there by several tugboats, which somehow had gotten there in record time.

Yesterday I was so angry that I couldn’t even get around to writing here, but please understand the anger is usually directed at myself, for being such a git in one way or another, because I do not blame others for the mess I have created for myself. That way…when good stuff happens…I can get all the glory and satisfaction that comes with that.

Anyway—yesterday…this is how it began. My landlord woke me up early to remind me that I was once again late with the rent…(as if I didn’t know)…So I got up and spent the day applying for jobs online. Have any of you done that? The questions just go on and on and on. I’m no whiz at the computer and definitely not a great typist, but really how many references does one need to get a crummy job as a cashier?


Anyway not much more to say on that front, suffice it to say that the day ended without any new income or even any chances of finding work. And now I have a terrible confession to make…I actually like American Idol again. It’s funny, especially in the early shows when all the strangest would be stars crawl out of the woodworks and try to impress Simon. Even though there are three other judges now, the contestants know it’s all about Simon. I don’t know yet how they’ll resolve a tie, but I guess I’ll find out soon enough!

Favorite person of my day: Barack Obama once again (for a while I was a little worried about some of his decisions) for having invited the Bishop Eugene Robinson to give one of several invocations for the Inauguration a long time before he asked Rick Warren. Those of you who follow politics will know what I’m talking about.